In my last (brief) blog post, I mentioned that my sisters and I have been going through a season of “Life Boot Camp”. I keep thinking of how the heart experiences growing pains far more intensely than the growing limbs of the days of our youth. Learning to trust Jesus to be your strength in the places of your weakness, to provide what you do not have, to build those characteristics inside of you that you never thought you could possess…these are the places where he does battle for us. It is also where he expects us to step out in faith to participate in the process. This has been a difficult revelation for me at times. I have had to learn to let go of the “genie-in-the-bottle-Jesus” that I thought existed, which all the time was an allusion. Growing in faith or grace or maturity in Christ always requires something of us. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone, doing hard things, going to work and persevering until the results Jesus has intended for you have been accomplished. The key, of course, is Christ Jesus IN ME! Not by my strength, but by HIS. I won’t grow or become more holy by scratching and clawing my way to holiness, no matter how hard I try.
One stumbling block I have encountered is the fact that I struggle with being a weird kind of perfectionist. Either I have to do things in a very specific way, or they simply do not get done. For example: I don’t make my bed every day….like ever, really. But on the rare occasion that I get the notion to make my bed, it will take me approximately 30 minutes to do so…and it will in fact, be done immaculately.
I also struggle very heavily with the Spirit of Overwhelm. Believe me when I say that it really does not take much to rock my world and I find myself on the precipice of panic in a complete state of overwhelm.
Combine these “fun” personality traits and just imagine how they handle “Life Boot Camp”….not too swell, as you can imagine.
So here is where I found myself a few weeks ago…overwhelmed, fearful, exhausted by life’s demands, facing decisions to be made that seemed too vast for me to handle.
Enter random classic 70’s Rock.
“Just Remember I Love You” by Firefall.
This is what Jesus gave me. This song was in my head all day long. It was so random. It came out of nowhere…and I almost missed the larger story at work within the melody.
Dallas Willard explains that God is at work within a “Divine Conspiracy” in the lives of human beings. It’s a covert operation that we often miss because we are too absorbed with just getting by in life to notice. But, if-through the help and training of Jesus-we have the presence of mind to catch a glimpse of it, here is where we participate in the divine nature of our Father. Here in these tender, deeply personal moments is where we witness him at work. Would Jesus really use a song from 1977 by Firefall to speak to me? Yes, he did…and it was so. very. comforting.
Obviously my circumstances were not an exact match to the lyrics of the song, but I think the overall message is that things do get rough. Times get hard or lonely, confusing, painful, etc. in the verses, but then comes the sweet words of the chorus: “Just remember I love you, and it’ll be alright, just remember I love you, more than I can say.”As women, don’t we just need someone to love on us every now and again and to hear those words: “I love you. Everything is going to be alright.” Do you ever feel that way?
This was just what I needed to hear. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for caring about the minutia of our lives. Thank you for sending subtle, loving messages to each of us, catering to our unique desires and needs. That song might not have meant anything to anyone else, but it spoke exactly to what I needed to hear.
I love you Jesus! I praise you because you are worthy!
For some additional words of comfort, which were also a sweet kiss sent to me by my Jesus:
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3
Check out this song. You might just be surprised by how comforting it is. 😉
God Bless! ~Shanna